Change can be hard!

Change can be hard!

Part of being a good leader is knowing when to let go! It's learning to raise up amazing leaders under you that could one day take over where you left off and hopefully, even bring it to the next level! That doesn't make change any easier!

As our worship team, I am no longer part of, was practicing tonight, I felt a sadness. They were having so much fun and I missed being a part of that! (I can't escape it, it took place in my living room- Church planter problems!) I enjoy singing and worship and the camaraderie that our band has. I realize that the band has moved forward and has come to a really great place. They are growing and engaging more people in worship. New and younger talent is developing in ways they weren't able to with me in there.

I also just handed our church women's ministry to our associate pastor's wife. She has a passion for women's ministry and I know that she is the right woman for the job. At Thrive, God spoke to me and told me to let her take the ministry. I have full confidence that she will bring the ministry to the next level! I'm excited for what God is going to do through her!

The growing stage is hard! I know that as I am leaving these ministries, God is freeing me for other things. I know that I cannot move to greater heights when I am stuck where I used to be! Sometimes there is a gap between one thing and what's coming next. We just need to sit and wait on God to reveal it to us!

I can know these things in my head, but my heart still hurts sometimes.

But...I see it on the horizon! New things are coming! I have to look toward the future!
I can't wait to see what God has next!

Thrive! Don't just survive!

I have a friend that has been going through some difficult times. She is an amazing woman of God, but she has been struggling a bit. She shared with me that she told another friend about this and she was told "God doesn't always call us to thrive, sometimes his will is for us to just survive". 

What?!? My nose crinkled up in confusion and disbelief! That can't be true!

Didn't Paul say that he was content in all circumstance? 

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." Philippians 4:11 

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Sometimes we get in we get in a rut where we thin if we are just surviving we're okay. God wants to do more than just survive! He wants to see us thrive. 

Yes, there will be difficult times. Yes, there will be seasons of chaos surrounding us. Yes, we will go through situations we never thought we'd have to face. But..can't we learn to thrive in those situations? Doesn't God want that for us? Doesn't he want to use us to be a light shining to all those around us in the world, that we can overcome? Doesn't he want us to thrive and grow and learn and rejoice even in these times? especially in these times?

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord And whose trust is the Lord.

8 

For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

That sounds like a healthy, THRIVING tree to me! We can thrive if our trust is in the Lord!

Take time for yourself, surround yourself with women that will lift you up, attend an a conference! You can do all those things in one place at PF Women's Conference Thrive ( pfwomen.com for more information) Sometimes we need a change of perspective! Fill yourself with things of God that will help propel you to a place where you can learn to thrive no matter the circumstance! 

We have been fed a lie that just surviving is okay! Rebuke that lie! Don't let the enemy have the victory! You can and will overcome! You can and will thrive and grow and come out stronger on the other side! 

What do you love about yourself?

"Turn to the person next to you and tell them something you love about yourself. Not your job, not your family, but YOU!" The words from the conference speaker hung in the air. I began to fell the tingles of nerves beginning to course through my body.

"I love my silliness" called out the woman to my right.

The lady to my left sat for a short moment, before stating, "I love my patience".

They both turn to me, as my face grows red. I question, "Just about me, not what I do or my family?"

I feel the tears begin to well as my mind draws a blank. I hadn't realized it had gotten this bad. I always knew I had struggled with my self esteem. I knew that I had a hard time when the attention was focused on me. Still everyone is anticipating my answer, as the heat in my body rages and the embarrassment wells.

The speaker, a friend of mine, catches wind to what is happening. She reels off a list of things that she loves about me. She lists things about my heart, about my inward and outward beauty. The tears are beginning to threaten to exit me...

Why is this so hard! Can't I possibly find one thing about myself at this moment to share. This is just getting ridiculous. Just say something, anything.....I love my.......ahhhhhh! Lord help me!

Then it finally hits me!

I could have offered some pad answer and not let anyone know the internal struggle. I could have masked the turmoil inside of me. I didn't know these ladies (other than the speaker). I could have let them think that I was this confident, secure woman....but I can't. That's not who I am.

Then I realize, that is what I love about me!

I am not fake! I LOVE that I am not fake! Even when it would be easier to pretend. I could hide all the things that I would rather not have people see.

But I love that I am REAL! In all situations! Regardless of my role as a leader, I have to allow myself to be vulnerable! I feel God has called me to this realness.

So here I am, bearing the embarrassment once more, to be real! I challenge you to be real! Also, take a hard look at yourself and figure out your insecurities and deal with them!

I had planned to go to the workshops that dealt with the practical side of ministry. God changed my plans! I decided my church could handle not having the best way to build a team! They needed a healthy leader! I chose to take care of me and attend the workshops about who God says I am and how to find confidence in the midst of your insecurities.

I thank God that he brought it to my attention! I thank God for the leadership of the conference that cares about the health of women in leadership!
______________________________________________

The conference I attended was STRONGER put on by Pen Florida Assembly of God Woman's Ministry. Go to www.pfwomen.com for more info on the amazing conferences and events they offer.

How to make a baby doll sling

Supplies: 

Fabric- 55 inches by 32 inches ( I used a light weight cotton)

Coordinating thread

Two large binder clips

Sewing machine

Iron

Starch (opitional- makes sewing straight lines easier)

Ironing board

1. Iron your fabric to make it easier to work with.

2. Fold over twice, so all raw edges are tucked inside, and hem all 4 sides. I folded over 1/2 inch and starched and ironed and then folded another 1/2 inch and starched and ironed, repeating on all 4 sides. Sew a straight line to hem all edges.

3. Fold one end up 2 1/2 inches, on the long side of the fabric, starch and iron. Then, sew straight across to make the pocket for your binder clips.

4. Open up your binder clips and feed the fabric through. Both binder clips goes into the same pocket, just like you would see on a ring sling.

**Do NOT use for human babies or animals. This is intended to be a toy for baby dolls and stuffed animals!**

Where else could I go?

It’s been a little over six months since my mom passed away. I finally feel like I have enough strength to try writing again.

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Last summer, when my mom was quite sick with the cancer that eventually killed her, I was struggling more than I ever had before. I was on my way up to see her and stopped to spend some time with friends in South Carolina. I joined them for their Sunday church service, before heading the rest of the way up to Franklin, North Carolina to see my parents. The worship team began to play a very familiar song that I had sung many times before. I began to sing with no specific emotion, as often happens when you know a song so well. “Forever Reign” by Hillsongs. It got to the chorus of the song which says,

 

 “Oh, I’m running to Your arms, I’m running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to Your embrace, Light of the World forever reign.”

 

I was suddenly hit like a brick. A wave of intense grief washed over me. I though, “I don’t want to run to anyone’s arms but my mother’s.” She was the one that had been there for me all my life. We were not just mother and daughter, we were best friends. She was my cheerleader, my support, my counselor, the first person I wanted to share news with. I just couldn’t stop weeping with the thought that God wasn’t going to heal her in this life. He was going to take her to her heavenly home, despite what everyone’s hopes and prayers were. I wanted more than anything to be able to always run into her arms.

 

I started to question, “Would God’s love be enough?” It didn’t feel like it! I just wanted my mom. I started wrestling my thoughts with God. “Why do you have to take her? Will I still love you the same? How can I go on without my biggest supporter?”

 

My answer finally came. Where else would I go?

 

Just like Simon Peter, when most of the disciples had left, said in John 6:68…

 

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God”

 

I realized the only one that had truly been there for me all my life without fail was Jesus. I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. My parents did not become believers until I was in my late teens. I had attended church my whole life, but my family wasn’t saved. God was the one who was with me always. Where else could I turn?

 

To be honest, it was with great trepidation that I settled with that. I was mad at God. I knew he would take her, but I also knew I had no where else to go. I realized I could be mad at God and still love and follow him. I felt like David in Psalm 22.

 

“O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One”

 

I realized I could be in those two places at once. I could be upset and questioning and yet still know that God is on the throne and He is good. I never understood that before that point in time.

 

Now almost a year from that day, I am no longer mad. I know that God spared her of suffering. I still miss her everyday. I always will. I now have a peace that God will carry me through and make me stronger.

Who me?

My nephew, who I watch during the day, didn't nap. My 3 year old is cranky and taunting her brothers relentlessly. My 9 year old hates math and cries "There is no way I can do this! I'm never going to use this!" My 10 year old is flaunting the fact that he already finished his school and "It's not that difficult!" Then the phone rings...

It is my presbyter's wife Betty. She asked me how I was doing, most likely a minor formality to lead up to her point. I however, saw a warm body on the line and unleashed all my troubles! I went on about how overwhelmed I am and how I don't know if I can do it all! I told her homeschooling was becoming less and less appealing.

I thought I was busy when I was a youth pastor's wife. As I church planter's wife, I move non-stop. It is not unusual for me to work from the time I wake up until 10:00 at night! I am planning the service, meeting with the core team, promoting the church (even at my kids' football games, yes- I have become that person), phone calls, connecting with people online, and all those other millions of things, plus running a homeschooling household! I don't think there are enough hours in the day sometimes!

She then shows reluctance and utters, "I don't know if I should even ask you then."

I reply, "Oh, It's always this way. What do you need Betty, I'll try to help."

She shocks me with, "I would like for you to be the women's guest speaker for our Sectional Ministry Life Seminar."

"Who, me?" I think I managed to get out. "I've never done that before."

She reassures me, "You will be great! I believe you can do it. I have read your blog. Just be real. You can talk about anything and use whatever format you like."

Had I not been reading Jodi Detrick's book The Jesus Hearted Woman, I may not have had the courage to even consider it. The first chapter, entitled These Shoes are Too Big, spoke about the author getting a call to become a District Woman's Director. She felt that she was not ready for the change, but didn't want to deny God's move in her life. She took that step of faith and said "Yes."

With my heart pounding, and my whole body shaking, I agreed to speak. This would be my first time speaking to women, and pastor's wives and women in active ministry no less! What could I have to offer these ladies? They should be teaching me!

God began to birth a message in me that I believe every woman can relate to, probably a lot of men as well.

Inadequacies. We can't let them stand in the way of what God is calling us to.

So, with a bit of fear still in me, I managed to speak that day. Although it wasn't perfect, it went over very well. I even got an offer to speak at a women's group in November!

When God call you, he equips you!

Tinkerbell Blessings

This past week I had the privilege of attending the Assemblies of God 55th General Council. Words cannot begin to tell of all the ways God blessed us while we were there in the midst of nearly 35,000 others from our fellowship. Maybe I will share some stories later!

While there, I participated in a new ministry for Pastor's Wives called Her Green Room. As I was leaving the room I was asked, along with many others, to film a short video for a new study that will be produced in the near future. They gave me several different topics they were looking for, such as worship, discipleship, and relationships. I wasn't sure I had anything for those categories, but I said I'm not afraid to do it. The woman with the film crew asked me what came to my mind. I told her a story from my daughter's adoption. I don't think I've shared it here before.

We adopted my daughter from a teen mom that had been in and out of our ministry for years. She returned to the ministry when she found out she was expecting. She was planning on parenting the baby. I was one of her support people. I was even in the delivery room, never knowing she would be my child.

Katrina's birth mother parented her for 7 months before she came to me. She asked me to take her because it was too much for her. She was in over her head. She was a single mom, raised by a single mom, raised by a single mom, and so on. After sleeping on it one night my husband and I decided to take her.

The 4 week process of social workers, adoption lawyers, fundraising, etc. was a whirlwind! There were a lot of emotional lows. We often questioned whether we were doing the right thing. Was Katrina really supposed to be part of our family?

This was the end of September of 2010. Halloween was approaching. My kids always dress up and go to an area church that hosts a fall festival. That year, Bobby wanted to dress as Peter Pan. Knowing that we would have Katrina by the festival, we really wanted her to go as Tinkerbell. Considering all the adoption expenses, there was really no money leftover to buy a costume (esp. for a baby that wouldn't know the difference). It wasn't really important, but we all kind of hoped it might work out.

I came home from a day out. While I was gone a friend had come by to drop off some clothes for my soon to be daughter. At the very top of the bag, was a Tinkerbell costume! I started to cry right there! God cared enough about me to send me a silly costume that didn't really matter! It was a confirmation that Katrina was destined to be in our family!

It amazes me that God cares about each of us, so individually, to send us the little things that don't really seem to matter. It may seem insignificant to anyone but you!

If it matters to your heart, it matters to God!

Embracing Martha

Saturday- not only church day, but watch my friends boys while her and her husband attend a wedding, Sunday- Kid's birthday party, Monday- church planning then crash, Tuesday- Men's Ministry dinner out and I have a Skype appointment, Wednesday- See Wicked with my Mother-in-law and sister-in-law, Thursday- Intern over for dinner and church meeting, Friday- new couple in the church over for dinner, Saturday- Church.......

My head is spinning with all the business lately! It's all good stuff, but boy do I need a break! Oh, that list is just the evenings! Not only all of the above, but also: home school my boys, keep up with my 3 year old, watch my 5 month old nephew, feed everyone, keep up with house chores, plan for church, etc..... and now my head is spinning again!

I don't know what the solution is, or if there even is one! God gave me a scripture to help pull me back to focus though...



     "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Luke 10:38-42

Boy, do I feel like a Martha lately! There is all this work to be done and I better get to it or the ball will be dropped! Oh, but wait a minute...can't someone help me? Isn't there anyone that can step up?

I feel like at the stage of our new church plant I have to be the Martha. There are too many new Christians that need to be Mary, and just soak up all of God that they can! I need my Mary time too, but I am coming to realize that this has to be accomplished differently that it used to. I need to carve out more one on one time with my Savior. I need to teach my children to make time for their alone time with God and for them to allow me that time.

I must embrace Martha right now. After all, Martha was the one that invited Jesus to her house in the first place. She made sure everyone had something to eat and was happy. She gets a bad rap, but what a hard working, hospitable woman she was. She saw a need and she met it. Sure, she got overwhelmed and needed her sister's help, but don't we all get to that point! I can't imagine she liked the answer Jesus gave her very much.

When we cry out to God, the last thing we want to hear is that we are not getting our way! It at moments when we realize that he sees the bigger picture and knows what is best, that we grow! We see what we should be doing, not what we want to do.

I know that in the future I will have more workers. I know that as my children grow I will miss this stage where they need me so much! I will one day leave this constant Martha stage! ...Or will I?

Garrison

Garrison's profile

This little boy has been on my heart for a couple of weeks now. I haven't had the chance to raise any funds yet, but I have remained faithful in prayer for him. He is missing both feet and one hand, but otherwise shows no problems! Look at that sweet face!

My heart just breaks for him and the other children at Reece's Rainbow that are waiting for families. They are cast aside in their countries as lower class because of their disabilities. Some of these kids are living in adult mental institutions as young children!


I know not everyone is able to adopt. I know we are not in a position to do it again anytime soon. If you aren't able to adopt, please give to help someone who can. November is national adoption month. Please do something to give to children in need of a family!

 

 

If you would like to help this little boy, please click on Garrison's link above and you can donate right through Reece's Rainbow. I will be collecting for him in the next few weeks as well.

Talent Required?

Being a church planter's wife sure stretches you! I am being used in ways I never would have thought. Anyone that has known me for any length of time would be shocked to hear what I am doing now!

I am now the worship leader! (While our worship leader recovers from giving birth to her new son, a.k.a. my adorable nephew.) I have never been known as a great singer. In fact I was quite the opposite growing up. Thank God that when there is a need He provides the talent where it was lacking! I have improved so much and can actually carry a tune. Believe it or not, a few people have even said I have a beautiful voice! Praise God he provides!

It makes me wonder...is talent required? Or does God honor you stepping out in faith, trusting that He will make it work? I'm really not sure. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

There is so much to learn on the church planting adventure! I can't believe all the things that I never even thought about! In the beginning stages, there's not a whole lot of people besides your family. I knew that in my head, but the reality still hits hard.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

At times it can seem discouraging and overwhelming! But can not loose heart! Remember God's call for your city! Meditate on the promise he has given you! He will provide if we stay faithful!



I had to add a picture of my new nephew Saxon!

My New Obsession



Yellow Squash

Doughnut

I have discovered a new and productive hobby, at least if you have a little girl. I have been making play food out of felt! It is pretty easy and fun. I have been sitting in the chair at night and sewing play food while watching t.v. Most of the stitching is done by hand.



Lemon slice

I have found resources all over Pinterest . Some of the foods are freehand and a few I found tips and patterns for.  I really love all the tutorials that are on Helping Little Hands Blog. 


My favorite- Bag of Chips! I love how this turned out!

Cupcake- could use some tweaking.

Ice Cream Cone



Strawberries

Fried Egg



Know Your Worth- The World Is Waiting

Do you ever struggle with feeling worthy? I know I do. There are those mental breakdown days that you feel like a bad mother and that your children deserve a better mother. Or is that just me? There is so much on our plates as women and sometimes we just don't feel we can do it all, or that we are worthy of it all.

God doesn't call you un-worthy for every mistake you make. He loves you and calls you worthy despite it! He sees the whole picture! He sees what you will become!

In Genesis 17 and 18 God changed Sarai's name to Sarah. The name Sarah means princess.  God changed her name despite the fact that she took matters into her own hands to have a child by her maidservant and then treated her cruelly. He named her despite the fact that she laughed when God told her she would have a son at over 90 years old. Even though she did all that, God still called her princess before she ever earned the name.

Have you believed the negative? What has Satan placed in front of you to pull you from your worth in God? What pressures, mistakes, and lies have paralyzed and prevented you from living as the amazing woman God calls you to be?

You are a masterpiece! God created you with over 200 bones, thousands of hairs, thighs stronger than concrete, you replace millions of blood cells per second, etc. You are not a mistake! God put a lot of time and thought in creating the human system and so much more into your soul!

When you are down, remind yourself of God's truth.
    
 "You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who has called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

Psalm 45:11 says, "The King is enthralled by your beauty, honor Him for He is your Lord."

"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast the sum of them! Were I count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand." Psalm 139:17-18

Do you see how God sees you? You are royalty, you are beautiful, and he is always thinking about you! And that's just three verses!

It can't stop there! Once you realize your worth, you are free to live out your purpose! There is a world out there that needs you!

God has put you here, at this time, where you are, at this exact moment for a purpose!

"From one man he made ever nation of men...he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:26-28

Can you look in the mirror and see yourself as God made you; as a person of infinite worth? Can you look at your life as something meaningful, something unique with a world changing purpose?

You are called to impact this world as only you can! Your life was meant to be an adventure for God! Erwin Raphael McManus said "Jesus is transforming lives, writing history, creating the future, and unleashing the kingdom of God. If you plan to keep step with Jesus the Pioneer, you better expect some changes!" in his book The Barbarian Way.

What changes is God calling you to make to get in step with Him?

Candy Choc-o-latte Cookies

My boys came up with a new creation they call Candy Choc-o-latte Cookies. They really wanted to make chocolate chip cookies, but we were all out of chocolate chips. We raided all the candy stashes and came up with tons of different fun size chocolate and carmel candies. I chopped them up into little pieces and added them to the batter in place of chocolate chips. They were delicious!

Candy Choc-o-latte Cookies

• 2/3 cup butter, softened
• 1/3 cup shortening
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 cup brown sugar, packed
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 vanilla extract
• 3 cups all purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons of hot water
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• approximately 2 cups of chopped up chocolate and carmel candies

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Cream the butter, shortening, and white and brown sugars until they are creamy. Add eggs one at a time, beating after each egg is added. Then mix in the vanilla. Dissolve the baking soda in the hot water and add it in. Next add the salt. Then stir in the flour gradually. When it is all mixed together, you add the candy pieces. Make tablespoon size balls and place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Makes about 3 1/2 dozen.

Mom's Monkey Bread

I have recieved a request for the Monkey Bread I served at my sister-in-law's baby shower. I thought I'd post it here. The recipe is from my mom!

Monkey Bread

• 4 packages of refrigerated biscuits
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Start the glaze heating while you are completing this stage. Mix sugar, cinnamon, and brown sugar in a bowl. Cut each biscuit into 4 pieces and toss in the mixture. Do them in stages or they will stick together. Toss them into a greased bunt pan. Continue until they are all gone.

Glaze

• 1 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 sticks of butter
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon

Melt together in a saucepan until smooth. (Mine never got smooth after 45 minutes, but mom says hers does. Either way it's good) Pour over the biscuits in the bunt pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Cool for 10 minutes then turn over on a plate.

My Sister-in-law's Baby Shower

This weekend I hosted my sister-in-law's baby shower for my nephew Saxon that is due next month.
I have pinterest to thank for most of the ideas! Here are some photos.

This recipe was from pinterest, it tasted awesome and super cute! Found it here.

Here is the cake I made.

Here's the diaper cake I made for Saxon!

The beautiful mom-to-be holding one of the babies that was at the shower.

And us together...

By the way, those pom poms above our head were pinterest too..Here's the link!

Here are some of the ladies that attended. Thank you all for all the beautiful gifts and friendship!

Here is a blanket I knitted for the baby.



Not Alone

This morning as I was reading the Bible these verses stuck out to me.

“I thank God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:3-6

It made me so grateful for all the people God has placed in my life at this time! I am so thankful for the team God has given us for Salt Church! I am blessed by all of my home school mom friends that serve the Lord as they teach their children! I am excited about all the new ministry ladies I am meeting and connecting with!

I know I need these ladies in my life. I need people to encourage me when I feel weak. To pray with me when I have to make the second trip to the ER in a week. (Everyone is fine now.) I need to hear their stories and know that they struggle like I do.

I know that there is no way that I could sustain this church plant adventure with out knowing there are others partnering with me across the country. At times you can feel like you're all alone. You feel lost in this church pioneering venture. It's difficult to navigate the uncharted waters.

I find such comfort in the words of the verse "..pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel.."  I am in partnership with the body of Christ. I am not alone in this adventure!

It is such a blessing to have church planters across the country as a part of that support! Last spring I was a part of a VCG (Virtual Community Group) through Leading and Loving It . This fall I am blessed to lead a new community of planters' wives with them. It so so amazing to share with others that are going through the same things you are going through.

I know that God has a plan for my church! I know that He will see it through. (Now if only I could remember that in the midst of the zeros in my checking account and the car troubles.) Paul says "be confident of this, that he who began a good work...will carry it on to completion"! Sometimes it's hard to be confident but I must trust in my calling! He who has called me will carry me through!

Lessons on Worry

The past few weeks have been quite hard financially for this little church planting family! I had become quite worried about how we going to afford to live. My cupboards are getting very bare! I was concerned and started to think about job possibilities. This church planting business is hard stuff, especially on your finances! However; hard things are worth doing!

God spoke to me today through my kids devotional. I honestly wanted to skip it today because I just wanted to get their school work finished so I could move on to other pressing household issues. (Not to mention, this homeschooling mama is ready for summer!) We opened up their Keys for Kids book and it was based on Luke 12:22-31. My heart was opened as my sweet Liam began reading...

"Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens; They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." Luke 12:22-31

There is something so eye opening about hearing God's word read by your child. Through his voice God was speaking to me so clearly! He knows that we need food. He knows that I am stressed! I need to turn it over to him and seek his kingdom first! He will provide if I serve his kingdom! Then, God gave me an opportunity....

There is a man that frequently comes by our house looking for the my husband. He found out he was a pastor about a year ago. He comes by to ask for prayer and to talk things out, but mostly for financial help. We're not always able to give him money, but we usually send him with some food. Today he knocked on my door. In the past, I haven't opened if my husband wasn't home. I opened it today and just that was a blessing to him. He said it made him feel human. So many people, including myself, have ignored his knocking. He needed $12.86 to finish paying for his son's graduation clothes. I told him things were so tight right now. I said my pantry is just about bare and I don't think I really have anything. God spoke to my heart and I told him to wait. I told him I would go check and see if I had any cash (I thought I had maybe $4). I went to my wallet and I had $13 to give him! I told him God was looking out for both of us today! I prayed that God would multiply both of our finances. I shared the about devotional with him.

In providing for that man I was being God's hands and doing the work of his kingdom! God provides. Later today we checked our bank and someone had donated $400 into our account! God is faithful!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" Philippians 4:6

God hears our prayers and worries. My boys and I now know what to do when we are worried. Thank God for what we do have, voice our worries and fears to God, then let go and let him take it! He wants what's best and he will see us through!

Gluesticks: PVC Framed Canopy Bed

Gluesticks: PVC Framed Canopy Bed:  While browsing Toys R Us & Babies R Us last weekend, we came across a cute Tinkerbell canopy bed that Kaylee just loved. She already had a ...

Church Planting Whirlwind

Well, it's been too long since I wrote. My life has been in the whirlwind of church planting! What an adventure we are going to have with Salt Church!

I never realized all the legal stuff you have to deal with. We have been getting insurance, filling for non-profit status, incorporating, waiting on approval from the Assemblies of God -which we just recieved (our church fellowship), and so much more! We are learning so much!

We have started having our core team meetings for Salt in our living room (which means a lot more cleaning!).  It has been going well and by the grace of God our team has been growing. We are still awaiting God to send us a childrens' director and someone with pastoral experience!

I have been learning to stretch our dollars even more! I am already an extreme couponer wanna be, but now it is a necessity. I have learned to be much more creative with our meals. We have been eating a lot more soups because of their meat stretching abilities!

We are about to enter into the adventure of fundraising! In our fellowship, there is a 30,000 dollar matching grant that we could desperately use to make this church a success! We are in the midst of building a website, writing support letters, and planning fundraisers! God has blessed us with many talented people around us that have been helping us pull everything together.

All this, plus homeschooling my children, makes for little time to myself! I have not had time to blog. I hope to get to it more often!

Adoption Navigation

I have recently seen and heard a lot about how opening adoption helps everyone.  I am so mixed about this.  I am trying to see the benefits in our situation and right now I just can't.  I need to protect my daughter.  How would it benefit her to have a birth mom in her life that refuses to call her by her given name, who goes around bad mouthing us, who has not learned from her mistakes and is continuing and get worse in her behavior. 

I try to see things from the birth mother's perspective.  I do feel bad for her.  I can only imagine the turmoil she must be going through; however, does that mean that I should put my daughter at risk because of it? No!

I have people ask me all the time if I have heard from the birth family.  Part of me just wants to forget there was a birth family.  Don't get me wrong, I will be forever grateful that the birth mother chose Rob and I to raise this amazing girl, I am just not wanting it to be a daily part of my life.

I am trying to learn how to navigate this role of adoptive mother.  There is no book that can help me through my specific adoption.  Every adoption is so different and mine is certainly out of the ordinary.  I am caught between more of a familial type adoption and a semi-open.  We knew the birth mother for 5 years before she blessed us with this baby.  It has made things extremely hard.  We didn't go through an adoption agency.  We did have a social worker and a lawyer, but in a way we were left to our own devices.  There were so many times I called my social worker, I know I drove her crazy, because I just had no idea what I was getting into.  I wish there was some textbook on how to deal with it.  I know that is nearly impossible due to every story being unique. 

I thought it would all end once the adoption was final.  It has helped a lot, but there are still so many emotional struggles!  I just hope and pray that one day I can find a way to explain everything to Katrina in a way that makes sense to her and in a way that she feels completely secure.

Thanks for listening!