Change can be hard!

Change can be hard!

Part of being a good leader is knowing when to let go! It's learning to raise up amazing leaders under you that could one day take over where you left off and hopefully, even bring it to the next level! That doesn't make change any easier!

As our worship team, I am no longer part of, was practicing tonight, I felt a sadness. They were having so much fun and I missed being a part of that! (I can't escape it, it took place in my living room- Church planter problems!) I enjoy singing and worship and the camaraderie that our band has. I realize that the band has moved forward and has come to a really great place. They are growing and engaging more people in worship. New and younger talent is developing in ways they weren't able to with me in there.

I also just handed our church women's ministry to our associate pastor's wife. She has a passion for women's ministry and I know that she is the right woman for the job. At Thrive, God spoke to me and told me to let her take the ministry. I have full confidence that she will bring the ministry to the next level! I'm excited for what God is going to do through her!

The growing stage is hard! I know that as I am leaving these ministries, God is freeing me for other things. I know that I cannot move to greater heights when I am stuck where I used to be! Sometimes there is a gap between one thing and what's coming next. We just need to sit and wait on God to reveal it to us!

I can know these things in my head, but my heart still hurts sometimes.

But...I see it on the horizon! New things are coming! I have to look toward the future!
I can't wait to see what God has next!

Thrive! Don't just survive!

I have a friend that has been going through some difficult times. She is an amazing woman of God, but she has been struggling a bit. She shared with me that she told another friend about this and she was told "God doesn't always call us to thrive, sometimes his will is for us to just survive". 

What?!? My nose crinkled up in confusion and disbelief! That can't be true!

Didn't Paul say that he was content in all circumstance? 

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." Philippians 4:11 

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Sometimes we get in we get in a rut where we thin if we are just surviving we're okay. God wants to do more than just survive! He wants to see us thrive. 

Yes, there will be difficult times. Yes, there will be seasons of chaos surrounding us. Yes, we will go through situations we never thought we'd have to face. But..can't we learn to thrive in those situations? Doesn't God want that for us? Doesn't he want to use us to be a light shining to all those around us in the world, that we can overcome? Doesn't he want us to thrive and grow and learn and rejoice even in these times? especially in these times?

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord And whose trust is the Lord.

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For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

That sounds like a healthy, THRIVING tree to me! We can thrive if our trust is in the Lord!

Take time for yourself, surround yourself with women that will lift you up, attend an a conference! You can do all those things in one place at PF Women's Conference Thrive ( pfwomen.com for more information) Sometimes we need a change of perspective! Fill yourself with things of God that will help propel you to a place where you can learn to thrive no matter the circumstance! 

We have been fed a lie that just surviving is okay! Rebuke that lie! Don't let the enemy have the victory! You can and will overcome! You can and will thrive and grow and come out stronger on the other side! 

What do you love about yourself?

"Turn to the person next to you and tell them something you love about yourself. Not your job, not your family, but YOU!" The words from the conference speaker hung in the air. I began to fell the tingles of nerves beginning to course through my body.

"I love my silliness" called out the woman to my right.

The lady to my left sat for a short moment, before stating, "I love my patience".

They both turn to me, as my face grows red. I question, "Just about me, not what I do or my family?"

I feel the tears begin to well as my mind draws a blank. I hadn't realized it had gotten this bad. I always knew I had struggled with my self esteem. I knew that I had a hard time when the attention was focused on me. Still everyone is anticipating my answer, as the heat in my body rages and the embarrassment wells.

The speaker, a friend of mine, catches wind to what is happening. She reels off a list of things that she loves about me. She lists things about my heart, about my inward and outward beauty. The tears are beginning to threaten to exit me...

Why is this so hard! Can't I possibly find one thing about myself at this moment to share. This is just getting ridiculous. Just say something, anything.....I love my.......ahhhhhh! Lord help me!

Then it finally hits me!

I could have offered some pad answer and not let anyone know the internal struggle. I could have masked the turmoil inside of me. I didn't know these ladies (other than the speaker). I could have let them think that I was this confident, secure woman....but I can't. That's not who I am.

Then I realize, that is what I love about me!

I am not fake! I LOVE that I am not fake! Even when it would be easier to pretend. I could hide all the things that I would rather not have people see.

But I love that I am REAL! In all situations! Regardless of my role as a leader, I have to allow myself to be vulnerable! I feel God has called me to this realness.

So here I am, bearing the embarrassment once more, to be real! I challenge you to be real! Also, take a hard look at yourself and figure out your insecurities and deal with them!

I had planned to go to the workshops that dealt with the practical side of ministry. God changed my plans! I decided my church could handle not having the best way to build a team! They needed a healthy leader! I chose to take care of me and attend the workshops about who God says I am and how to find confidence in the midst of your insecurities.

I thank God that he brought it to my attention! I thank God for the leadership of the conference that cares about the health of women in leadership!
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The conference I attended was STRONGER put on by Pen Florida Assembly of God Woman's Ministry. Go to www.pfwomen.com for more info on the amazing conferences and events they offer.

Who me?

My nephew, who I watch during the day, didn't nap. My 3 year old is cranky and taunting her brothers relentlessly. My 9 year old hates math and cries "There is no way I can do this! I'm never going to use this!" My 10 year old is flaunting the fact that he already finished his school and "It's not that difficult!" Then the phone rings...

It is my presbyter's wife Betty. She asked me how I was doing, most likely a minor formality to lead up to her point. I however, saw a warm body on the line and unleashed all my troubles! I went on about how overwhelmed I am and how I don't know if I can do it all! I told her homeschooling was becoming less and less appealing.

I thought I was busy when I was a youth pastor's wife. As I church planter's wife, I move non-stop. It is not unusual for me to work from the time I wake up until 10:00 at night! I am planning the service, meeting with the core team, promoting the church (even at my kids' football games, yes- I have become that person), phone calls, connecting with people online, and all those other millions of things, plus running a homeschooling household! I don't think there are enough hours in the day sometimes!

She then shows reluctance and utters, "I don't know if I should even ask you then."

I reply, "Oh, It's always this way. What do you need Betty, I'll try to help."

She shocks me with, "I would like for you to be the women's guest speaker for our Sectional Ministry Life Seminar."

"Who, me?" I think I managed to get out. "I've never done that before."

She reassures me, "You will be great! I believe you can do it. I have read your blog. Just be real. You can talk about anything and use whatever format you like."

Had I not been reading Jodi Detrick's book The Jesus Hearted Woman, I may not have had the courage to even consider it. The first chapter, entitled These Shoes are Too Big, spoke about the author getting a call to become a District Woman's Director. She felt that she was not ready for the change, but didn't want to deny God's move in her life. She took that step of faith and said "Yes."

With my heart pounding, and my whole body shaking, I agreed to speak. This would be my first time speaking to women, and pastor's wives and women in active ministry no less! What could I have to offer these ladies? They should be teaching me!

God began to birth a message in me that I believe every woman can relate to, probably a lot of men as well.

Inadequacies. We can't let them stand in the way of what God is calling us to.

So, with a bit of fear still in me, I managed to speak that day. Although it wasn't perfect, it went over very well. I even got an offer to speak at a women's group in November!

When God call you, he equips you!

Embracing Martha

Saturday- not only church day, but watch my friends boys while her and her husband attend a wedding, Sunday- Kid's birthday party, Monday- church planning then crash, Tuesday- Men's Ministry dinner out and I have a Skype appointment, Wednesday- See Wicked with my Mother-in-law and sister-in-law, Thursday- Intern over for dinner and church meeting, Friday- new couple in the church over for dinner, Saturday- Church.......

My head is spinning with all the business lately! It's all good stuff, but boy do I need a break! Oh, that list is just the evenings! Not only all of the above, but also: home school my boys, keep up with my 3 year old, watch my 5 month old nephew, feed everyone, keep up with house chores, plan for church, etc..... and now my head is spinning again!

I don't know what the solution is, or if there even is one! God gave me a scripture to help pull me back to focus though...



     "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Luke 10:38-42

Boy, do I feel like a Martha lately! There is all this work to be done and I better get to it or the ball will be dropped! Oh, but wait a minute...can't someone help me? Isn't there anyone that can step up?

I feel like at the stage of our new church plant I have to be the Martha. There are too many new Christians that need to be Mary, and just soak up all of God that they can! I need my Mary time too, but I am coming to realize that this has to be accomplished differently that it used to. I need to carve out more one on one time with my Savior. I need to teach my children to make time for their alone time with God and for them to allow me that time.

I must embrace Martha right now. After all, Martha was the one that invited Jesus to her house in the first place. She made sure everyone had something to eat and was happy. She gets a bad rap, but what a hard working, hospitable woman she was. She saw a need and she met it. Sure, she got overwhelmed and needed her sister's help, but don't we all get to that point! I can't imagine she liked the answer Jesus gave her very much.

When we cry out to God, the last thing we want to hear is that we are not getting our way! It at moments when we realize that he sees the bigger picture and knows what is best, that we grow! We see what we should be doing, not what we want to do.

I know that in the future I will have more workers. I know that as my children grow I will miss this stage where they need me so much! I will one day leave this constant Martha stage! ...Or will I?

Talent Required?

Being a church planter's wife sure stretches you! I am being used in ways I never would have thought. Anyone that has known me for any length of time would be shocked to hear what I am doing now!

I am now the worship leader! (While our worship leader recovers from giving birth to her new son, a.k.a. my adorable nephew.) I have never been known as a great singer. In fact I was quite the opposite growing up. Thank God that when there is a need He provides the talent where it was lacking! I have improved so much and can actually carry a tune. Believe it or not, a few people have even said I have a beautiful voice! Praise God he provides!

It makes me wonder...is talent required? Or does God honor you stepping out in faith, trusting that He will make it work? I'm really not sure. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

There is so much to learn on the church planting adventure! I can't believe all the things that I never even thought about! In the beginning stages, there's not a whole lot of people besides your family. I knew that in my head, but the reality still hits hard.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

At times it can seem discouraging and overwhelming! But can not loose heart! Remember God's call for your city! Meditate on the promise he has given you! He will provide if we stay faithful!



I had to add a picture of my new nephew Saxon!

Know Your Worth- The World Is Waiting

Do you ever struggle with feeling worthy? I know I do. There are those mental breakdown days that you feel like a bad mother and that your children deserve a better mother. Or is that just me? There is so much on our plates as women and sometimes we just don't feel we can do it all, or that we are worthy of it all.

God doesn't call you un-worthy for every mistake you make. He loves you and calls you worthy despite it! He sees the whole picture! He sees what you will become!

In Genesis 17 and 18 God changed Sarai's name to Sarah. The name Sarah means princess.  God changed her name despite the fact that she took matters into her own hands to have a child by her maidservant and then treated her cruelly. He named her despite the fact that she laughed when God told her she would have a son at over 90 years old. Even though she did all that, God still called her princess before she ever earned the name.

Have you believed the negative? What has Satan placed in front of you to pull you from your worth in God? What pressures, mistakes, and lies have paralyzed and prevented you from living as the amazing woman God calls you to be?

You are a masterpiece! God created you with over 200 bones, thousands of hairs, thighs stronger than concrete, you replace millions of blood cells per second, etc. You are not a mistake! God put a lot of time and thought in creating the human system and so much more into your soul!

When you are down, remind yourself of God's truth.
    
 "You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who has called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

Psalm 45:11 says, "The King is enthralled by your beauty, honor Him for He is your Lord."

"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast the sum of them! Were I count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand." Psalm 139:17-18

Do you see how God sees you? You are royalty, you are beautiful, and he is always thinking about you! And that's just three verses!

It can't stop there! Once you realize your worth, you are free to live out your purpose! There is a world out there that needs you!

God has put you here, at this time, where you are, at this exact moment for a purpose!

"From one man he made ever nation of men...he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:26-28

Can you look in the mirror and see yourself as God made you; as a person of infinite worth? Can you look at your life as something meaningful, something unique with a world changing purpose?

You are called to impact this world as only you can! Your life was meant to be an adventure for God! Erwin Raphael McManus said "Jesus is transforming lives, writing history, creating the future, and unleashing the kingdom of God. If you plan to keep step with Jesus the Pioneer, you better expect some changes!" in his book The Barbarian Way.

What changes is God calling you to make to get in step with Him?