Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Adoption Navigation

I have recently seen and heard a lot about how opening adoption helps everyone.  I am so mixed about this.  I am trying to see the benefits in our situation and right now I just can't.  I need to protect my daughter.  How would it benefit her to have a birth mom in her life that refuses to call her by her given name, who goes around bad mouthing us, who has not learned from her mistakes and is continuing and get worse in her behavior. 

I try to see things from the birth mother's perspective.  I do feel bad for her.  I can only imagine the turmoil she must be going through; however, does that mean that I should put my daughter at risk because of it? No!

I have people ask me all the time if I have heard from the birth family.  Part of me just wants to forget there was a birth family.  Don't get me wrong, I will be forever grateful that the birth mother chose Rob and I to raise this amazing girl, I am just not wanting it to be a daily part of my life.

I am trying to learn how to navigate this role of adoptive mother.  There is no book that can help me through my specific adoption.  Every adoption is so different and mine is certainly out of the ordinary.  I am caught between more of a familial type adoption and a semi-open.  We knew the birth mother for 5 years before she blessed us with this baby.  It has made things extremely hard.  We didn't go through an adoption agency.  We did have a social worker and a lawyer, but in a way we were left to our own devices.  There were so many times I called my social worker, I know I drove her crazy, because I just had no idea what I was getting into.  I wish there was some textbook on how to deal with it.  I know that is nearly impossible due to every story being unique. 

I thought it would all end once the adoption was final.  It has helped a lot, but there are still so many emotional struggles!  I just hope and pray that one day I can find a way to explain everything to Katrina in a way that makes sense to her and in a way that she feels completely secure.

Thanks for listening!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Another Family in Need!

I just found out about a family that is trying to adopt 2 boys from Eastern Europe that have special needs. I don't know them personally, but I have friends in North Carolina that do.  They said that they are an amazing family that loves God and these boys!  Please help them bring their boys home! I know now how much every penny counts. I really hope you can give to them, or at least pass the info along.

Check out their blog:

I cried reading their blog.  It will touch your heart!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Adoption is Final

Well after seven months (eight if you include the one since we found out we were adopting her) has passed and she is finally all ours!  We left at 6am Thursday morning to travel to Tavares for her court.  The process was much less emotional than I thought it would be.  We were sitting in the Judge's chambers and it was just our attorney asking us simple things like "Has she been in your custody since Oct. 12, 2010? Is your marriage stable?" etc. The most emotional part was when we read our statements on why we want to adopt her.  (I'll post mine at the end.) At the end, our attorney asked "Judge, do you agree that the child should be placed in the permanent custody of Rob and Lisa and shall be hereby known as Katrina Ellise?" He said "OK".  The Judge was nice and spent quite some time small talking afterwards with my husband.  I am so relieved to have it past us, but I thought there would be more ceremony to it! 

On Thursday night, the first night she was officially ours, she kept us up all night, just like a newborn.  I don't know what was the matter, the hotel I guess- although we've been away from home before, but she cried most of the night.  She spent the night in our bed, mostly not sleeping.  How ironic that she would act like a newborn that night!  She has been fine since. 

It is so nice to have this all completed!  No more lawyers, or social workers.  At least not until or unless we do this again.  I'm not ready for it anytime soon, but if God opened another door...

My court statement

From the moment Katrina’s birth mom told me she was pregnant I knew I would have a hand in her life.  When I was there to witness her birth and held her to feed from her birth mother for the first time and felt her little jaw move, I knew I would be a part of her life.  When her birth mother called me to pick Katrina up from day care and take her to a hospital due to a high fever and I rocked her and calmed her I knew there was a special bond with her.  I never once dreamed I would be her mom! It seems God had it all in His plan from the beginning.  I am so blessed to not only have two boys by birth, but to be chosen to be Katrina’s mom. 

I have loved Katrina since before I ever knew she would be mine.  It has been such a joy to see her transform from a scared and angry baby to a sweet, secure, and joyful toddler.  She amazes me every day!

Becoming Katrina’s mom has not only made me fall in love with her, but it has made me love our family even more.  Seeing my boys love her and take care of her has brought me so much pride and happiness.  It makes me love my husband more to see him cherish our little girl.

I can not imagine life without our little girl.  She is our princess.  I am so excited to see the amazing plans God has for her.  I am so blessed to be chosen to be her mother!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My Greatest Expansion

As I contemplate my life there is really one one word that perfectly describes it.  Expanding!  It seems things are always expanding in my life. In 2009 I went from being just a mom to a homeschool mom. I am constantly finding more things that seem to expand; from my role at church to my children's eating habits.

My greatest yet is that in October of 2010 I became an adoptive mother.  In September of 2010 her 17 year old birth mother asked me to take her!  Four weeks later my 8 month old daughter was in my arms. What a rollercoaster that was and still is!  She has filled our lives with joy but it wasn't easy.  She came to us with a lot of anger issues (yes at 8 months), feeding issues, over-medicated, and sleep deprived. I thank God he brought her into our arms when He did.  She has come from being a very cranky, melancholy, unhappy, unhealthy baby to a sweet, giggly, happy, and healthy toddler.

Since this is my first blog, I will keep it short and sweet.  Thanks for reading!